Supported Loving toolkit
Housing and supporting relationships
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What do you do if a person with support needs wants to live with their partner, and this has an impact on their housing?
Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about relationships and where they live, and that includes people who access social care. Supporting couples in relationships isn’t just about overnight stays—it’s about making sure people have the chance to live the lives they want - and having their rights respected.
Housing providers have a key role to play in making this happen. They can create the foundations for positive relationships by offering clear tenancy agreements that support couples, flexible policies on things like overnight stays, and practical changes like providing double beds or private spaces. They can also work with support staff to ensure safeguarding concerns are addressed without being overly restrictive.
With the right approach, housing providers can help break down the barriers that stop people from enjoying their relationships. By listening to what people want, addressing practical challenges, and respecting individual rights, they can create homes where people feel safe, valued, and free to build meaningful relationships.
Common areas people may have difficulty in or need support/Problems and how best to support them
Environmental restrictions to spending time as a couple: Environmental restrictions, such as single beds, shared spaces, and a lack of privacy can create barriers for couples wanting to spend time together. Housing providers can address these issues by offering practical solutions like options for double beds or adaptable sleeping arrangements (blow up beds if no space for a full-time double bed) and ensuring that tenants have access to private areas within their living spaces. Simple changes, such as locking mechanisms for bedrooms or designated times for communal areas (like the kitchen table for a romantic meal) to be used privately, can significantly increase privacy. Providers can also review policies to support couples’ rights to intimacy, such as highlighting the right to overnight guests or flexible use of spaces. Educating staff on how to facilitate these arrangements sensitively and ensuring tenants feel comfortable voicing their needs. By making thoughtful adjustments, housing providers can promote autonomy and ensure that couples have the privacy needed to nurture their relationships.
Restrictive practices and breaches of human rights: At Supported Loving, we often hear about people being restricted from having an overnight guest in their own home, even when they hold a tenancy. Such restrictions may constitute restrictive practices unless they are grounded in legal justification. For instance:
- A person may have been assessed as lacking capacity for sex under the Mental Capacity Act 2005, and a Deprivation of Liberty Safeguards (DoLS) authorisation or Liberty Protection Safeguards (LPS) plan may limit opportunities for sexual contact.
- The partner may pose a safeguarding risk to the individual or to others living in the house, necessitating measures under safeguarding laws or tenancy agreements.
However, if no legal basis exists for the restriction, it could breach the individual's human rights, particularly their right to a private and family life under Article 8 of the Human Rights Act 1998, the Mental Capacity Act (2005) and potentially the Care Act (2014).
People have the right to develop relationships in privacy and should enjoy the same freedoms as others to spend time with a partner in their home. While it is reasonable to agree on house rules with housemates, as is typical in shared living arrangements, individuals do not need to seek permission from housing providers for a partner to stay overnight unless specific legal or safeguarding concerns apply. It is always appropriate to seek legal advice if you are uncertain.
Complications of living together: When people living in a social care tenancy want their partner to move in, it raises several important considerations. Moving in together can lead to changes in income benefits for both partners if they are viewed as a couple, so it’s essential to work with them to assess their finances and ensure the arrangement is affordable, explaining any changes in a way they can understand. Housing providers need to prioritise the person’s tenancy security by considering potential risks, such as the partner’s housing history, including any issues like anti-social behaviour. Funding commissioners should also be consulted to ensure that any existing agreements, such as nominations, remain unaffected, and funding is not put at risk. Additionally, it’s important that both partners understand the long-term commitment of living together, know each other well, and have the support of family or carers. Open discussions involving the couple and their support networks can help clarify expectations, assess the stability of the relationship, and ensure the move is well thought out. Careful planning can reduce potential disruptions and make the transition as smooth as possible.
Do...
- provide privacy solutions: Offer options like locking mechanisms for bedrooms and designated private times for communal spaces
- respect tenants' rights: Allow overnight guests unless there are clear legal or safeguarding reasons to restrict this
- involve tenants in decisions: Ensure tenants can voice their needs and preferences about relationships and living arrangements
- provide double beds: Single beds gives a strong message that you will not be sharing it with anyone.
Don't...
- impose unnecessary restrictions: Rules like no overnight guests need clear legal justification
- overlook financial risks: Moving in together can affect benefits, so plan carefully
- don’t assume people need permission: Tenants shouldn’t have to ask for approval to have a partner over.
Case study
Emma has been dating her girlfriend, Freya, for a couple of months. She has received support around sex and staying safe, and staff are confident that Emma has the capacity to engage in sexual activity and to decide whether her partner stays overnight. Emma lives in her own flat with staff support at night and for some hours during the day.
Emma asks staff if Freya can stay the night. Staff are unsure, so they check with the housing provider, who says overnight guests are not allowed. The manager reviews Emma’s tenancy agreement and finds nothing prohibiting overnight guests—only a clause stating she cannot have anyone living with her permanently.
Concerned this restriction might breach Emma’s rights, the manager seeks advice from a legal expert. The expert confirms there is no legal basis to deny Emma an overnight guest, as both Emma and Freya have capacity to consent, pose no risks, and are not in breach of the tenancy agreement. Following this advice, the housing provider agrees Emma can have an overnight guest.
However, the housing provider adds that because there is a regular overnight guest in the house, they require a specific risk assessment. Staff feel this policy intrudes on Emma’s privacy, arguing that requiring her to notify the housing provider each time she has a guest who regularly stays, would not be expected of most tenants (eg in private housing situations). They believe this undermines Emma’s autonomy and may constitute an unnecessary and disproportionate restriction.
The views expressed in the Supported Loving toolkit are not necessarily those of Choice Support.
Supported Loving toolkit
The Supported Loving network has produced a series of guides to help support people with issues surrounding sexuality and relationships.
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What is Supported Loving?
For some people finding love is often more than just chemistry – it can come down to getting the right support
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Supported Loving network
Supported Loving is not a formal membership organisation. Anyone can take part, it is free.
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