RELATIONSHIPS AND PLANNING 2 docx
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Supported Loving toolkit
Support planning
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The Care Act (2014) states that reducing isolation is a key support need and essential for our wellbeing. People should be supported in building and maintaining relationships.
The Skills for Care Core Capabilities Framework sets out standards to guide social care staff, emphasising the importance of addressing people’s sexual and relationship needs. It highlights the right to express sexuality, form relationships, and make choices. Similarly, the Care Quality Commission (CQC) stresses that support needs around sex and intimate relationships should be included in assessments and support plans.
At Supported Loving, we regularly speak with social care staff about their approach to planning support for sexuality and intimate relationships. What we often see is, that despite these being crucial aspects of life, they’re frequently overlooked or inadequately addressed in support plans. While there are often sections dedicated to relationships with family and sometimes friendships; sex, sexuality, and intimate relationships are rarely included.
Health is often thoroughly covered, but sexual health is often missing. Without clear information about how to support people based on their individual needs and preferences, support can become inconsistent.
This section looks at how to develop person-centred support plans that are co-produced, covering all areas of sexuality and relationship support. The aim is to provide staff with consistent guidance that prioritises rights, autonomy, and positive risk-taking, helping people make informed choices and live their lives as they choose.
What are the most common challenges faced by people in this area?
Staff not sure how to broach this topic in support planning- Staff should start by asking general, non-intrusive questions, like “Tell me about relationships you’ve had in the past,” to avoid making it feel like an interrogation. It's important to make it clear that sexuality and relationships are a normal part of life and that understanding the support needed is part of providing the best care. Relationship support needs should be explored first, including friendships, before moving on to intimate relationships and then any aspect of support relating to sex (such as the need for sexual health services or education).
Staff should also let people know in advance that personal, explicit questions will be asked, and they don’t have to answer anything they’re uncomfortable with. We suggest breaking this down into manageable chunks and not asking everything in one section. It's helpful to practise asking open questions to help people feel confident in prompting inclusive discussions.
Staff feel too embarrassed to have sensitive discussions about sex- It’s normal to feel embarrassed, but ignoring people’s needs isn’t acceptable. Social care is about supporting the whole person, including their sexual needs, and this should be part of the role. Staff can reduce embarrassment through training, practise, and preparation. Having materials ready for when questions arise can help too. Start with the areas staff feel comfortable talking about and use everyday moments to bring up these topics in a relaxed way. Supervision is a great chance to practise and discuss the trickier areas, so staff get the support they need to feel more confident.
Unsure what to include in support plans- If staff aren’t sure what to include in support plans, the first step is to remind them that support plans should reflect the whole person – including their sexual and relationship needs. Encourage them to have open conversations with the person they’re supporting, asking about their preferences, relationships, and any concerns. Training can help staff understand how to address these needs respectfully and appropriately. It’s also useful to provide examples of good practice and guidance on what should be included, like preferences for intimacy, privacy, and safe relationships.
Regular supervision and peer support can give staff the confidence to discuss and include these needs without feeling unsure. Plus, a person-centred approach means focusing on the person’s needs, so plans should be flexible and regularly updated as those needs change.
Not having the right tools or resources- If staff don’t have the right tools or resources, the first step is to make sure they know where to find what they need. Supporting materials, like booklets or guides on inclusive care, can make it easier to include these aspects in support plans. The Supported Loving toolkit has everything you might need, with resources on relationships, sex, and LGBTQ+ topics across various sections. Clear, accessible guidance, such as templates, checklists, and examples of well-documented support plans, can be helpful. Offering training on how to identify and document sexual and relationship needs can also ensure staff feel confident in including these aspects in care planning.
Do's and don'ts regarding support in this topic area
Do
- Involve the person fully in the planning process
- come prepared with accessible supporting materials (easy read guides etc) as this will increase the person’s engagement
- go at the person’s pace, remember this is very sensitive information and they have the right not to answer questions they do not wish to
- make the plan flexible and easy to adapt as the person’s needs and circumstances change.
Don't
- be embarrassed. Try and see this as any other part of support planning and life! If you really do not feel able to ask a person about this, make sure someone else in the team does
- make assumptions about what the person needs or wants. Always ask them directly to ensure the support plan is truly person-centred
- rush the process. Take your time to have open, honest discussions with the individual, so their needs and preferences are clearly understood
- ignore the importance of privacy – respect the individual’s boundaries and ensure their personal information is handled with care and confidentiality
- forget that relationships and sexual needs can change over time. Regularly review and adjust the support plan to keep it up-to-date and relevant.
Case Study
Ahmed, a 32-year-old man of Pakistani descent, identifies as gay and lives in supported housing. Although open about his sexuality, he grew up in a conservative household where his identity was not accepted, leading to conflict about sharing his sexuality with others, especially in his cultural community. This situation caused feelings of isolation and difficulty discussing his personal needs with his support team.
When Ahmed began receiving social care, his support plan focused on physical health and daily activities, but his emotional and social needs, particularly those related to his sexuality and cultural identity, were not addressed. Ahmed expressed loneliness and frustration, as his sexual orientation and cultural needs were overlooked. During a review, Ahmed shared his desire to connect with other LGBTQ+ people, particularly those with similar cultural backgrounds, but wasn’t sure how to proceed. His support worker, trained in inclusive and culturally sensitive care, recognised the gap and worked with Ahmed to identify areas of need.
Together, Ahmed and his care worker co-produced a new support plan that recognised his cultural background and sexuality. They focused on Ahmed’s strengths, such as his interest in social groups, and identified goals to improve his social connections. The revised plan included steps like attending LGBTQ+ support groups for South Asian communities and joining online spaces to meet others with similar experiences. The plan was designed to be flexible, with regular reviews to track progress and adapt as Ahmed’s needs and goals evolved. For example, when Ahmed expressed interest in meeting a partner, this became a focus, with steps taken to connect him to safe and inclusive spaces.
Over time, Ahmed became more comfortable expressing himself. His staff provided emotional support, helping him discuss his needs openly. Ahmed joined a local LGBTQ+ group for South Asians, where he found a supportive community. This helped improve his wellbeing and allowed him to form stronger social connections, leading to a more positive sense of self.
Top Tips
- Use specific, actionable steps: Break down goals into practical, achievable actions that can be easily tracked. For example, instead of just "make social connections," set steps like "attend one LGBTQ+ group each month" or "explore online communities once a week."
- Have helpful resources: Provide clear, easily accessible resources, whether that’s information about LGBTQ+ support groups, cultural understanding, or sexuality-related tools. A well-stocked toolkit can make it easier for both staff and the person to find what they need without feeling overwhelmed.
- Go at their pace: Understand that progress isn’t always linear. Make sure the support plan allows for gradual steps, especially with sensitive topics, so the person feels comfortable and in control as they move forward.
Resources
Relationship planning tool- U-Night group
Helpful resources
More helpful resources for people themselves , their staff and families on sex and relationships.
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What is Supported Loving?
For some people finding love is often more than just chemistry – it can come down to getting the right support
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Useful organisations
Find useful organisations, dating agencies, training providers and LGBTQ+ social groups, for support and information on love, sex and relationships.
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